I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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