dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
