i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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