Just fell off a train. Bad.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
