Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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