Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
