Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
