Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
