some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
