Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize