if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
