is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
