I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
