her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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