I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
