Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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