dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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