Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
