I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
