So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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