And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
