OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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