And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
