I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
