I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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