i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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