Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
