no. you can't hotbox the world.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
