When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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