it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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