i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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