dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
do herpes really smell.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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