Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
