2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
