Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a hot homeless man
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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