This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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