he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
