dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The power of my boobs compel you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
