brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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