and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
