Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
