Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
