Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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