She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
