What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
