I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
