so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
