I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
