I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
