i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
