Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
