Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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