that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
