i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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