I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
