Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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