Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
