Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
